Mind you, Canadians with 40 thousand pot plants probably qualify as real criminals too. Especially since the bust was in Ontario and not British Columbia. Everyone knows that the British Columbians are merely friendly hippies trying to get by, trading marijuana for love, peace, and Nag Champa, whilst the Ontarios (like Cheerios) are evil big city bastards who trade pot for guns, heroine, the virginity of your first born daughter, and the soul of both Jesus and Mohamed. Now check out this line of reasoning:
The Ontarios hid the marijuana plants in between corn stalks, Cheerios contain corn; thus, Cheerios own all corn in the world = Cheerios grew that marijuana = Cheerios wants the virginity of your first born daughter. Answer: Cheerios are evil!
But anyhow, I mean come on people, can’t we just arrest the oil barrens and the brokers who manage their hedge funds (along with the hedge funds for every large criminal organization in, you know, the world). Oil went down like $40 last week, and I did not see the price at the pumps go down one cent. Oh, yawn, I’m bored of oil today, why don’t we all drive up the price of food tomorrow and see how many poor people we can starve!
My recommendation, as stated in the title to the article (aren’t you all pissed you didn’t just stop reading after the title!), is that we mass distribute copies of Cut Copy’s two albums In Ghost Colors (2008) and the oddly overlooked Bright Like Neon Love (2004) and watch in amazement as the world begins dancing all corruption and evil down towards Australia, and off the coast into Tasmania – where they will be fed to the Tasmanian Devils! That’s right, all bad things will end in Tasmania by the hands of those cute little devils.
Who would have thought that Australians (Cut Copy) would end up cleansing the world of criminals!? Yes, that is the sweet taste of irony – take that Britain! (Of course La ¡Cinta! will be the real heroes for devising this master plan!!! Muahahahahahaha)
Here’s to the start of a new beginning my friends, Cut Copy show and tell everyone about the Lights & Music that will help save the world!!!
And now Time Stands Still, live, as we all await the feeding frenzy of those Tasmanian devils:
Let the dance revolution begin!
Listening to Now: Cut Copy In Ghost Colors (2008).