Old News: Microsoft “drops” Seinfeld. New news (what is new news nowadays?): If the “I’m a PC” ads are the replacement, Jerry and Bill should do a film. It can be called “Bill & Jerry’s Excellent Troubleshoot.”

I am a Mac. And I am a PC. I use my Mac about 99% of the time. I used to use my PC about 100% of the time, and then I bought a Mac. Having the PC is useful – I keep it closed but ON because it’s warm and flat and my gato (cat) likes to sleep on it and keep me company. But who gives a Mexican street rat’s ass. Each to their own.

All I care about is having more Gates and Seinfeld nonsense to watch.  I like the feeling of watching, wondering, and re-establishing my opinion that all the $$$ in the world has gone to hell.  $10 million for Seinfeld’s 2 commercial spots?  The guy is starting to get old.  He should have agreed to take $10 million and write and co-star in a feature film with Bill Gates.

It could have been an excellent adventure; Bill & Jerry’s Exellent Adventure (or Excellent Troubleshoot, or some snarky shit, if you want to make fun of Microsoft).  Honestly though, why wouldn’t Gates and Seinfeld do a comedy film together. You think a few minutes worth of moderately entertaining commercials was good for publicity? Think about the effects of a feature film.  How many people would go to see that film?  I think nearly everyone would.  And the beauty of it is that you wouldn’t have to write anything into the script about marketing PCs.  In fact, I would recommend that Gates merely finance the Film out of his own pocket, just for fun, not even directly for Microsoft. It would be auto-publicity for Microsoft, and people would respect the originality and quirkiness of the decision.

So if any of you reading this have contacts to get in touch with someone who can help, I will start writing the screenplay for Bill & Jerry’s Excellent Adventure.  I’ll be a co-writer, director, and cinematographer on the project for the equivalent of $3 Million USD today (but please pay in Euros).  Besides paying Seinfeld, the rest of the film will come at a minimal cost.  This can be low budget by Hollywood’s standards, and we’ll gross $100 Million USD, minimum.

Let me know guys.  Thanks.

So these are the 2 Seinfeld spots with Gates:

Episode I

Episode II

So who really cares if Gates pulled out a bit of chump change for a couple commercials which may or may not be effective.  If I was Gates, and thought Seinfeld was hilarious, I’d pay $10 Million for a handful of coffee dates at a diner.

All I can say, is thanks to all you assholes (or not, who knows if this was all planned) now we have to watch a bunch of boring run of the mill “I’m a PC” adds.

Here’s what we get now:

Wow. Boring. Ummm… I mean EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER, RADICAL, I WANT TO BUY A PC NOW!!!

Buenos Tardes.

UPDATE: Apparently the Seinfeld and Gates advertisements have not been canceled and their will be more; La ¡Cinta! says just make a feature film already.

This also just in: Bloggers like to jump the gun on verified news.  Feature story on La ¡Cinta! tomorrow: Thanksgiving 2008 was the bust, the turkey’s revolted and now they want equal rights; women to kill all turkey’s and continue chipping away at the glass ceiling.

  • Listening To Right Now: This is a new “feature.” At the bottom of the posts our writer’s will now be including Listening To Right Now; a small blurb telling you what we’re listening to while blogging.  But if I’m listening to Alanis Morissette or some lame music like that I’m probably going to lie and tell you that I’m listening to Pictureplane, or a “never released” Smith’s album, or some shit you’ve probably never heard of, just to keep up our cool and hip and trendy image… you know how it is.  Right now, I’m listening to Santogold’s album Santogold (2008).
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