Noel Gallagher challenges Jack White to a ROCK N’ ROLL FIGHT TO THE DEATH! No one to mention Noel Gallagher’s name, or his band Oasis, because Noel is pulling out all the stops to hype up Oasis for the release of their forthcoming album “We Are Still Better Than The Beatles, Don’t You Agree?”

I know we promised to shut up about Oasis, but we didn’t see this coming.  Apparently all the posters Oasis guerrilla marketed around city centers world wide did not create enough hype (go figure) for the forthcoming album, which I pride myself in not knowing the title of.

So Noel Gallagher challenged Jack White to a fight to the death.  This is what Noel told NME:

“It’s a piss take that the greatest British agent of all time has to be soundtracked by a bunch of fucking Americans.”

Since, you know, no American has ever written a Bond theme before, and everyone who works on and owns James Bond is entirely British.  Like not an American in the crowd.

And NOW, well my compadres, gather in a circle around the fire (don’t forget your ponchos it’s kind of chilly out tonight) and listen to this here story:

Jack and Noel went up the hill to fetch a pale of water.

Noel fell down and re-broke his rib cause Jack kicked his ass a game of rock n’ roll.

Now Noel is sore and wishes he could write a Bond theme song.

Tell that one to your kids at night.

I also just discovered that Noel inspired Lars Ulrich (of Metallica) to quit cocaine.  Well that’s just great you guys.  You know what Noel and Lars inspired me to do?  Lose all faith in the future of mainstream rock n’ roll.

Furthermore, Noel’s brother Liam also recently called Coldplay and Radiohead fans “ugly and boring.” Well he’s right about Coldplay fans – bunch of wankers!  But Radiohead fans, come on! La ¡Cinta! is a Radiohead fan and LA ¡CINTA! IS NOT UGLY AND BORING!!!

Let’s play ourselves a little game here.  I’ll ask a question, and I’ll answer the same question on behalf of the world:

Q: Who is ugly and boring?

A: Oasis is ugly and boring.

Goodnight!

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under News

3 responses to “Noel Gallagher challenges Jack White to a ROCK N’ ROLL FIGHT TO THE DEATH! No one to mention Noel Gallagher’s name, or his band Oasis, because Noel is pulling out all the stops to hype up Oasis for the release of their forthcoming album “We Are Still Better Than The Beatles, Don’t You Agree?”

  1. RobbtheAmerican

    that was frickin’ hillarious!!! Bravo…bravo!!!

  2. getagrip

    listen get a grip he never said rock n roll fight (whatever that is) and back up your claims of noel brandishing coldplay/radiohead fans “‘ugly and boring'” all you done there is put speech marks round these words. Oh yeah and are you trying to say jack white is better than noel at, song writing and guitarist :O :\. You must be joking me. I just don’t understand your biased over the top view. The Beatles are an amazing band and you just need to accept that some people see oasis as a threat to The Beatles throne :\.

  3. “I also just discovered that Noel inspired Lars Ulrich (of Metallica) to quit cocaine. ”

    I wish Noel Gallagher had inspired Lars Ulrich to give up drumming. I’m not even an Oasis fan.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s