The Cookie Monster salivates uncontrollably to the thunderous sound of crumbling; later realizes that it’s merely the financial system crumbling down around us; curses Pavlov for the millionth time. All this talk of cookies, monsters, money, and saliva brings 3 things to mind:

1. Even after receiving an $85 Billion Dollar loan from the US Government today, AIG still has a good sense of humor:

This letter from AIG – which some Americans received in the mail today – says,  “If Disaster Strikes, Will You Have the Protection You Need?” Wow! I hope La ¡Cinta! goes under in similar irony.

2. Cookies Crumble Too!

See! Crumbling Cookie!!! Yummy!

3. Time to switch to the Vinyl Standard.

Allow me to elaborate.  While the gold bugs have been compulsively hoarding gold in anticipation of “the end of the financial system as we know it,” I’ve been hoarding vinyl.

Why you ask? Well, because when the system collapses, people aren’t going to want to revert back to the Gold Standard – no no, we’ve been there and done that; people are going to want to try something new, something that “sounds better.” ie. THE VINYL STANDARD.  Since the production of vinyl was halted entirely upon the release of the 8 -Track Cartridge (hehehe, actually maybe we should consider the 8-Track Standard) these low-manufacturing-cost goods have become collectors items.  That’s right, our economy is going to be based on vinyl collections.  Rarity, condition, and quality of music will all be taken into account.

I’d give you an example of which records will replace $1, $5, $20, and $100 US bills, but honestly, I think better in Pesos, and that’s complicated.  Plus, the Vinyl Standard will be very subjective, and substantial bartering will be involved; maybe we can even devise a Pog like game with Vinyl, to appease the gamblers and gamers in the crowd.

So in closing, I believe that by this time next year, vinyl collectors, record shops, thrift stores, and vinyl filled warehouses will rule the world.  (Time to buy up all the vinyl from the Big Four everyone!)

¡  All hail Polyvinyl Chloride  !


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