RIAA this! MPAA that! Just wait till people find out about the WWPA!!!

While all you American folk get so much sympathy for having to deal with the RIAA’s (and MPAA’s) harsh, and often misleading rein of terror, all the “missing people” in the world get ignored.  What missing people, you say? Why do they get ignored? WTF are you talking about?  Well let me tell you, there’s this little secret agency called the WWPA (World Wrestling Piracy Assassins) who sneak around until they locate a “pirate,” and then lay the smack down and suplex the heck out of him/her [Ed. Reportedly consisting of ex-WrestleMania stars, and possibly funded by a subsidiary of the RIAA].  Anytime a headline has the word “missing” in it, this probably means that the WWPA opened up a can of whoop ass!  And those faces on milk jugs?  Hell those aren’t missing people, those are targets on the run that the WWPA needs help finding (because it’s pretty busy between all the ass kicking, doping, spandex fitting, and greasy fight rehearsing).

But, if you don’t want to get involved in this whole WWPA business (I don’t blame you) you can always read interesting RIAA news at various sites.  Torrent Freak takes a lot of pride in “fighting for the little guy (as in, pretty much everyone who has ever used the Internet or listened to music),”  so maybe check ’em out.  Who knows, the extra traffic to the site could mean additional banner adds for Torrent Freak, which in turn could give them just that little extra ummphh ($$$) they need to build a stronger case against the clear bias in current copyright infringement investigations.  Hell, they could even save your grandma a few years down the road when she gets served for allegedly stealing Billie Holiday’s The Essential Billie Holiday. (Totally awesome btw).

This recent article on Torrent Freak is especially interesting, and disturbing.  Here’s a exert from the story:

“A motorist driving in Park Forest, Il – a town some 30 miles south of Chicago – was pulled over for speeding. With an apparent suspended license he was arrested. The car was searched, and that’s where a few spindles of CDs and DVDs were found. The spindles had handwritten markings, labeling them as movies and music.

Surprisingly enough police called in the RIAA, a rather biased lobby group, to investigate the incident. As a result, the speeding motorist’s house was searched, and two of the 6 charges against him are relating to copyright. Whether the motorist turned out to be a commercial pirate or not is irrelevant, the fact that the police and the RIAA cooperate like this is what worries us. They might be searching iPods next.”

– TorrentFreak.com

Eek!  Well it’s a good thing that NO ONE in the world has burnt CDs, or potentially “pirated” mp3s on their iPods.  Jeeze, where is the RIAA going to find business if ALL of it’s customers end up imprisoned.

Imagine if police called in tobacco lobbyists to investigate MDs and anti-smoking advocates for cutting into Big Tobacco’s profit margin… while it’s not exactly the same, it’s equally ridiculous to the RIAA being called in to investigate individuals for allegedly pirating and cutting into the RIAA’s – and it’s represented Major Records Label’s – profit margins.

But what I really want to know, is what would have happened to this guy if his burnt copy of Nickback’s All the Right Reasons was sitting in the back seat of his car?

Not only would he be the biggest jackass in town, but also, he would have the RIAA with a warrant to cavity search him for more, alleged, evidence of criminal behavior.


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