Dr. Ruth (that crazy 80-year-old Canadian sex know-it-all) releases book “informing” parents of crazy new age youth becoming sexually active; parents scream in astonishment since youth of the 60s 70s 80s and 90s never had sex, or what’s this? ORAL SEX! WTF is that?! All I ever get to do with the esposa (wife) is play the missionary – and I’m not even religious!!! (Unless dancing with my gato (cat) to the electronic bliss of Crystal Castles is religious ; )

Dr. Ruth has written something like 32 books.  These are a few of my favorites.

…because Dr. Ruth is hip and current on the life of 18-year-old college students (I hope some kids actually read this is preparation).

..because your wife will never notice you reading this book beside her in bed every night for the next month.

I saw this book in my wife’s purse and lit it on fire and lied about it.  I don’t know what the premise is, but I was terrified it might teach my wife to take control of my life.

What the f#ck!!! If you can’t make out the tag-line below the title, it says “Advice for Kids on Making the Most of a Special Relationship.”

When my kid turned five I just gave him this book, told him that “life’s a bitch,” to deal with it, and use this book like a Bible to life.

OK OK OK.  This two part video is the kicker.  Dr Ruth interviews Cyndi Lauper, about sex, her life, and the true meaning of the song “She Bop” (which Lauper reportedly recorded in the nude).

What’s up with that guy sitting in the corner? Anyhow, Cyndi Lauper is such a heartthrob!  I saw her perform in like 98′ or something.  She was pregnant and not very mobile.  It was kind of enjoyable but rather disheartening.  But when I see videos like this it brings back the excitement (Dr. Ruth has a book on that too!) and makes those horrible memories of Cyndi sitting pregnant on a stool just disappear.

Also, is Dr. Ruth wearing a Star Trek uniform?  Was that outfit the inspiration for Jean Luc Picard’s uniform?  Does this mean that Dr. Ruth had an affair with Picard?! 1,000,000 AWESOME POINTS for Dr. Ruth!

So there’s your introduction to Dr. Ruth.  But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t mistake her for Sue Johanson, who we all know is the real sex-pert.  Here’s Sue and a lesson on giving head.

On second thought she told girls not to deep throat; that’s like telling dolphins not to swim, or boys not to use the word titties.  If nothing else, I guess we can all just rely on the public education system to provide us with an accurate and detailed sexual education.  My grade school sex-ed teacher recommended anal sex as a great premarital alternative to vaginal intercourse.  And then she showed me pictures of herpes! And then my therapist recommended Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Talking about Herpes and it really helped to numb the pain.

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