Last night in Toronto at the Virgin Festival (in the unstable and typically aggressive snow-state of Canada) Noel Gallagher got his asno (ass) kicked; nothing virginal about this ass attack, hombre!

This is like teddy bear cactus in the ass of Oasis – and those little bastards hurt!  Clearly Noel has some history in the “pissing people off department,” but to push a man from behind whilst he plays mid-90s mainstream classics like “Morning Glory”…  now Noel’s probably going to be drunk and offensive for the rest of Oasis’s tour!  Way to go and put all those air stewardesses into harms way you asshole.  Lucky guy is probably locked up in a genuine igloo prison now, that is like an exotic get-a-way compared to a Mexican prison.  Never upset a Mexican law enforcement officer who loves Oasis – that is what we always tell our little chicos.  The action really peaks at about the minute and a half mark. 

UPDATE: Turns out Noel is injured in some way – possibly fractured rib and ligament damage (hence ass kicked), Oasis is taking the matter seriously, may have to cancel shows, and a 47-year-old man named Daniel Sullivan has been arrested and charged with assault.  More information all over the Interwebs.

SIDE-NOTE: We tried to invite Noel down to La ¡Cinta! HQ for a quick recovery, but I think he was dejected by the rumours of poaching country clubs for all night strip-tennis tournaments.


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